05.09

After nearly working myself to death in April, I finally got my reward - vacation time in New York! The flight ended up being delayed due to engine complications and I had to stay in Paris over night. It was confusing and frustrating, but I arrived safely, wearing a smile, a day after schedule. Needless to say, I was drained. Sucked dry. My bones, my bones!

R and I came home Sunday night after a long weekend in Brooklyn. We had rented an apartment (which made me swear off hotels for life) and felt rejuvenated by the novelty of it all. My spirits were lifted as soon as we stepped through the door. Quirky decor and immaculate surfaces! What more can a girl ask for? The Brooklyn flea was around the corner, little cafes and wonderful restaurants were on the main street and we hopped from train to train without any plans whatsoever. I was so busy enjoying myself that my camera stayed in the bag for the most part, but I did snap a couple of great shots. For now, though, just a tiny snippet of morning stillness and pale skies.

04.29

I'm counting down the hours to my vacation (138 to be exact). I'm itching to use film. The last time I visited NYC, I forgot to bring my Pentax, which irked me to no end. Perhaps I'll create my very own dark room one day (another unfulfilled promise from a class back in 2007). I just realized that I've lived in this apartment for over two years. I started from scratch, my insides being fricken ground zero. I had a bedroom filled with boxes from floor to ceiling, remnants of an old life that I despised, and my heart was scraped raw. I'm still rebuilding and find it pretty mind-blowing that I can do whatever I want. Set up a dark room, repaint my walls, turn my bathroom into a mini-garden, or just shrug at the dishes for a whole week. My mind is wandering, something I've allowed myself to do more often. It hurts less. Everything does.

04.27

I've promised myself too many things, too many times. I often know in advance that I'll give up, procrastinate, and sometimes fail, but when I actually believe in my own determination, and then throw in the towel because times get tough, that's when I get devastated. It's a pattern of mine which spans over a decade and a half. Seriously sad. So, here I am, once more, making a promise. A tiny tiny one. Come on, Irene, shoot more f-i-l-m! Yep, I'm going to make the analog camera my best friend and dare to use (abuse?) it until my eyes start twitching with frustration and distress. Deal!