06.17

"The Magic Place is music for a specific constellation of feelings. They are real, many people share them, and this album owns them completely. So while there are few identifiable words here and the titles don't really register, there's a hell of a lot being expressed. We may not need Barwick to go deep into darkness or to write words that mean something, because she has tapped a vein of expression that is rich and powerful and affecting and even useful. And for the time being, the vein seems to be hers alone, though we can visit any time we like."

- Mark Richardson, Pitchfork



I'm crushing hard on Julianna today. Her music evokes feeling similar to those I experienced when I watched LOTR for the first time and witnessed the glorious habitat of the elves in Lothlórien. Dorky? Still, it's otherworldly.

Licking wounds. I've become good at it. Short spurts of energy, then tranquility.







Open windows, more plants and bike rides. I was never a summer girl, but today I feel like one.

04.29

I'm counting down the hours to my vacation (138 to be exact). I'm itching to use film. The last time I visited NYC, I forgot to bring my Pentax, which irked me to no end. Perhaps I'll create my very own dark room one day (another unfulfilled promise from a class back in 2007). I just realized that I've lived in this apartment for over two years. I started from scratch, my insides being fricken ground zero. I had a bedroom filled with boxes from floor to ceiling, remnants of an old life that I despised, and my heart was scraped raw. I'm still rebuilding and find it pretty mind-blowing that I can do whatever I want. Set up a dark room, repaint my walls, turn my bathroom into a mini-garden, or just shrug at the dishes for a whole week. My mind is wandering, something I've allowed myself to do more often. It hurts less. Everything does.

04.27

I've promised myself too many things, too many times. I often know in advance that I'll give up, procrastinate, and sometimes fail, but when I actually believe in my own determination, and then throw in the towel because times get tough, that's when I get devastated. It's a pattern of mine which spans over a decade and a half. Seriously sad. So, here I am, once more, making a promise. A tiny tiny one. Come on, Irene, shoot more f-i-l-m! Yep, I'm going to make the analog camera my best friend and dare to use (abuse?) it until my eyes start twitching with frustration and distress. Deal!