07.05

Still life. Home life. Film.

06.27

I've had a long weekend away. Far from city life and work. It was a beautiful trip with a lot of laughter, good food and an abundance of stunning nature. I thought I'd come back rested but the break made me realize just how tired I am. I could use another week to catch up on sleep and then muster up the energy to start running again. It's awfully hard yet worth the tears and frustration. More to come.

Happy belated Midsummer!

06.21

I try to imagine my life in a year from now. Five years. Sometimes ten. I don't need much to be happy. Once upon a time I needed everything within range just to feel safe. Now I want less and less of things and a heap more of meaningfulness. Quality. This is a lengthy operation, but it's speeding up.

I see myself having a small garden. I grow herbs, vegetables and have a beautiful succulent collection. I knit, crochet, sew and I do it well. I head into the city on Saturdays and bake fresh bread for brunch on Sundays. Art is an active part of my day. I run because it makes me feel good. Sometimes the dog runs with me. I watch more foreign cinema. I walk barefoot every chance I get. Spontaneous picnics, road-trips and concerts are always welcome. I read before bedtime and I sleep 7 hours straight. My photography has been featured. I stay in touch with my friends and dare to be open about my feelings. I love. I am loved.

06.04

I used to be a gamer girl. I know, I know, geek warning! I'd play games such as Final Fantasy because role playing meant hardcore strategies and impressive powers. Days and nights would disappear in the blink of an eye, and for the longest time I had a tremendous fascination with these fictional worlds. When I visited Storm King, it took my breath away. I wandered across fields, under statues, through the woods and found hidden paths and treasures everywhere I looked. The freedom was enormous. Being able to wander as I pleased for as long as I wished, Storm King became the ultimate RPG. I kept repeating that to R, though I don't think he quite understood what I meant. The excitement had me out of breath as I sprinted from one mystery to another, rambling feverishly about quests and such. I keep my inner child close to my heart, and this place is now her castle.

04.27

I've promised myself too many things, too many times. I often know in advance that I'll give up, procrastinate, and sometimes fail, but when I actually believe in my own determination, and then throw in the towel because times get tough, that's when I get devastated. It's a pattern of mine which spans over a decade and a half. Seriously sad. So, here I am, once more, making a promise. A tiny tiny one. Come on, Irene, shoot more f-i-l-m! Yep, I'm going to make the analog camera my best friend and dare to use (abuse?) it until my eyes start twitching with frustration and distress. Deal!

04.26

My first post is on R's birthday. It seems quite fitting. I can't believe the journey we've been on, and how it all started here, on the internet. I'm visiting him in a week and that has my toes curling with joy. Having the Atlantic ocean between us isn't an easy situation, but we make the best of it.

My insides are never as neat as the photographs I take, but this one matches my heart. A cup of coffee, a letter from R and spring light.

Happy birthday, love.