Tuesday, May 31, 2011

05.31 music



Everybody needs some Clogs.

05.31















I did my last shift today - another era ends. Tomorrow I'll start a new job and I don't know what to expect. I like challenges, but I don't always like change. I spoke with a co-worker this morning (I call her Mother Anna) and explained how I dislike in-between situations. The past stubbornly lingers and the future is just out of reach. I want to land, navigate and control. I wonder what that says about me.

If I could have my way, I'd choose to pause my long distance relationship for a couple of months, to return when my head is right. When my heart beats steadily. When I can take a deep breath without preparing for a must. Vacation. Is it possible to need vacation from vacationing? Hah! If so, please give me some of that.

It's a beautiful day here. I think I'll nap in the blooming courtyard. I hope to dream of the city. Feeling the pulse once again.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

05.24 music



Pling plong sweetness.

05.24



pearshaped

Consistency is on my to-do list. It's an ability I never acquired, but always wished would jump me unexpectedly, almost like a demonic possession. I've explored different ways of cooking, taking pictures, drawing, writing, but nothing ever stuck. Instead it all became tedious when I familiarized myself with it. I guess that's the problem. If I'd push through, there would be growth, incentive to put in more time and ambition, and then I'd have to take a stand. Pick a side. Be a certain way. What's my point with this? I want to dive into the vast world of photography obsession, and I'm hoping that I'll find my own way of looking at things with or without a filter, and then start from there. I'm gluing myself mentally. Stick stick stick.

Nevertheless, today is all about rearranging at home. Unpacking from my NY trip and listening to sweet tunes. I also have fresh flowers in every room that hopefully will be spared from feline wrath! I reward myself when I can, which I choose not to outgrow just yet. I'm feeling centered, focused and hopeful. I think it's the soft rain and gunmetal grey skies. Swedish summer at its best.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

05.21



Last night my bedroom went through a slight transformation. I ripped off wallpaper with my bare hands. Insane, I know. My neighbors don't care for my offbeat activities. It was starting to look ghetto and not in the fabulous way. I also washed the dishes, scrubbed the toilet, and folded laundry. I'm not even close to done. My ex is bringing Buddha and Phoenix on Tuesday, and I want the apartment in tip top shape by then. I'm back to my own rhythm at this point. Booo to jetlag that lingered for aeons! Oh, and I had yummy breakfast this morning - granola with fresh strawberries! It's the best part of my day.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

05.19



I'm a collector of trinkets and treasures. This little airplane found a home in my kitchen window. It's the thrill of the hunt, really... A passionate love affair with vintage items. Now, if only I was as obsessive about cleaning! My apartment needs to be scrubbed, wiped down, washed, sorted and renewed.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

05.18



















I'm back in Sweden, but not really. People sometimes say that they leave their heart elsewhere. With a person. A city. Perhaps both. Well, I left my spirit in New York. A lot happened in the past six months. Most of it broke me, though this vacation restored parts of my old self, and even lured out bits that I wasn't aware of having. I'm off standby mode. Have you ever stopped thinking in words? It's a curious thing but it happened. I lost the ability to express myself in complete sentences. Words became alien. Instead, I relied on pictures. Feelings.

Tonight I'll put fresh sheets on my bed. Drink tea. Read a few lines. Create. Muse. It's so good to be able to plan a future again. In August, I'm going back, and this time, I won't leave a thing behind.

Monday, May 9, 2011

05.09





After nearly working myself to death in April, I finally got my reward - vacation time in New York! The flight ended up being delayed due to engine complications and I had to stay in Paris over night. It was confusing and frustrating, but I arrived safely, wearing a smile, a day after schedule. Needless to say, I was drained. Sucked dry. My bones, my bones!

R and I came home Sunday night after a long weekend in Brooklyn. We had rented an apartment (which made me swear off hotels for life) and felt rejuvenated by the novelty of it all. My spirits were lifted as soon as we stepped through the door. Quirky decor and immaculate surfaces! What more can a girl ask for? The Brooklyn flea was around the corner, little cafes and wonderful restaurants were on the main street and we hopped from train to train without any plans whatsoever. I was so busy enjoying myself that my camera stayed in the bag for the most part, but I did snap a couple of great shots. For now, though, just a tiny snippet of morning stillness and pale skies.